Dermatology Buff Pillows

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

PROBLEM AREAS

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

S.P.F. 1,000

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

Desert Dermatologist

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

Dermatologist reading a 'Journal of Itchcraft'.

"The biopsy on your mole came back negative, which is positive, which is good."

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'You do Botox?'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Have you been scratching this?"

'You've got dry scalp.'

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

'Botox...'

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

"When I said hair transplant I meant more than one."