Dermatologists Pillows

'Scratch yourself a couple of times and call me in the morning.'

'Please stop talking to the media, Doctor. It's my job to make any rash statements.'

'I recommend SPF 30 and shade.'

"Why don't you see a good dermatologist?"

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

PROBLEM AREAS

What price beauty?

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

Pop Culture for Teens

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

S.P.F. 1,000

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

Desert Dermatologist

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

Woman applying makeup

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

Dermatologist reading a 'Journal of Itchcraft'.

"The biopsy on your mole came back negative, which is positive, which is good."