Dental Worrier Gifts

Your face is still hurting? You'd better get that checked. Maybe it'll go away. House of Java.net Cybercafe. True. Or maybe it'll turn into something a lot worse because you didn't get it checked today. It could be nothing, but it could also be nerve damage. Or an infection in your gums. You could lose all your teeth, little buddy. How'd you like to try paying for implants on minimum wage? That sounds awesome. Can they be bionic? "Matter-Eater Lad" was my favorite superhero.

A Hole in the Dike

I.T. Fear

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

Things that go beep in the night.

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Separation Anxiety

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

Expensive health care

"What do you mean 'no way'?"

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

No Action Comics

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

'Doc - this isn't going to cost me a lot - is it?'

"Your disgust over ballooning healthcare costs is just a natural part of the aging process."

'Panic over...it's not mumps just high blood pressure.'

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

Energy Bills

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'I'm sorry to tell that your husband's coverage has expired.'

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'