Weight Worrier Gifts

'You sure it didn't go around twice?'

'I think I'm going to have to hide the bathroom scale from your mother.'

Secretive Weigh In.

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

I think I have a gilt complex.

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

The Circle.

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

New Years Reolutions

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

'Panic over...it's not mumps just high blood pressure.'

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

Energy Bills

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

'It's Mrs Yomp - she can't remember if she should take the aspirin first and call you in the morning, or call you first, then take the aspirin...'

'Even hypochondriacs pass away...sooner or later.'

Eye of needle fat cat size That'll do nicely.

"They told me to consult with a doctor before beginning an exercise program."