Density Detective Gifts

"I just have time to make some toast, analyze its particle sizes, its density, its chemisorption..."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"They grow up so fast."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Violent Crime Statistics

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

"Eureka! Details to follow."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

'It looks like our data.'

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

Unsafe Drain Covers!

Newton's Law and Order.

"Look, the numbers don't lie."

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

"...and this one deals with the accuracy of the others."