Particle Detective Gifts

Scientist feels down back of sofa, saying: 'I think I've found the Higgs boson!'

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

Subatomic particles

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

Newton's Law and Order.

'Henderson, I believe I'm onto something.'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

Greatly enlarged view of newly discovered particle.

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

'That's the one that attacked me, officer! The one with the stupid look on his face!'

"On a nice sunny day like today, you'd think some of the dark matter would be visible."

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

'Now watch and listen!'

Spot the Higgs Boson competition

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

"I don't use straws anymore. Straws are bad for the environment."

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'

'We're looking for somebody in medical research.'

Quantum Mechanics Mechanics working on Atoms

"Hello! - Have you ever thought about changing your energy supplier..?"

The loneliness of the particle physicist...'Everyone's interested in things that are much, much larger.'

Grim Reaper walks through an urban environment wearing a gas mask.

I can carry all the plastic bags I need!

Our Universe: Matter (.0001%), Dark Matter (40%), Spam (60%)

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

'Yes, it's full of chemicals.'

Nigel finds the Higgs boson.

"But if you've given up on a fifth force, how can you possibly discover a sixth force?"

'I'm dubious. Neutrinos may be bigger than we thought, but they're not that big.'

Physicist Frank Bartholomew gets a big, BIG break in his search for the ever-elusive neutrino.