Dark Matter Detective Gifts

'Henderson, I believe I'm onto something.'

"...and almost all of it is dark matter."

"On a nice sunny day like today, you'd think some of the dark matter would be visible."

'Now watch and listen!'

Our Universe: Matter (.0001%), Dark Matter (40%), Spam (60%)

"I'll call you back...I think Steve has found that invisible dark matter we've been searching for."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

Three-dimensional, eh --- What makes you so spatial?

Newton's Law and Order.

Micro and Macro Department,

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

Don't forget to read the small print.

'When is science going to explain the dark matter I find in my belly button every morning?'

'Just as I suspected, Simpson. The extinction process happened very suddenly.'

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

Devil in the detail

"Of course, it might help if we actually found something every once in a while!"

The Big Drip Theory of the Universe

We have control of you brain.

'It looks like a beaver.' - News Item: Beaver ancestor lived alongside dinosaurs.

When pedants take a break.

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

"Who says dark matter is elusive?"

"So in other words, we're hoping to discover what makes the nitty, gritty."

Testing the Big Bangs theory.

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

'We're looking for somebody in medical research.'