Decay Detectives Gifts

Rotting Jack-o'-Lantern Pie.

"They grow up so fast."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

Unusual Offers

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

'Henderson, I believe I'm onto something.'

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

"Why is there an ad for Jay-Z in the New England Journal of Pediatric Medicine?!"

'But what do you sell?'

"Peterson should be sure to win the Nobel Prize! He has proven that the mutated Coronavirus also mutates laboratory rats!"

"It's a setup."

Cut-Rate Think Tanks - Now available for hire.

"On a nice sunny day like today, you'd think some of the dark matter would be visible."

Viet Nam: Highly Contagious Variant

'Now watch and listen!'

'Yes, as dodos, we can't fly, but if we could only learn to climb trees, we would be safe from predators...'

"See...polystyrene!"

"I thought it was a breakthrough, but it was only a misplace decimal."

"He's not a big, bad wolf, Gramps - he's a predatory insurance agent!"

Grim Reaper walks through an urban environment wearing a gas mask.

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

Our Universe: Matter (.0001%), Dark Matter (40%), Spam (60%)

"I did a quick search for my lost requirements documents and I found them right away, but how do I get rid of the ads now?"

It isn't just the media that's biased...often the voters are too.

"They're not home.."

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."