Doomsday Detective Gifts

I'll know when the world is going to end -- all the expiration dates on food will be the same!

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Newton's Law and Order.

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

"It's a setup."

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

Any news on that star that might have a Dyson sphere around it? Nothing new. I mean, they discovered the star's probably been dimming ever since 1890, which could lend credence to the notion an alien race has been building a Dyson sphere. By they discovered that a few months ago. There's been nothing since then, so ... whatever. Must be nothing there. They should do a study to see how long it takes your attention span to dim. What? Why? What're we talking about?

"See...polystyrene!"

"We need to talk about procrastination."

"So in other words, we're hoping to discover what makes the nitty, gritty."

Testing the Big Bangs theory.

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

'And that's your idea of a desk calendar...'

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

"I know at least two people who will sleep easier with him behind bars."

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

"He's not a big, bad wolf, Gramps - he's a predatory insurance agent!"

Two psychics have shops next to each other; one advertises "Second Opinions".

'It's not what you think, sir. I'm power daydreaming.'

"They're not home.."

"Don't let the organized desk fool you. I have no idea where my computer files are."

'Who am I?'

Cluster Catastrophe

"So, did you hear about all the excitement?"