Demographic Detective Gifts

"According to my Zip Code, I prefer non-spicy foods, enjoy tennis more than golf, subscribe to at least one news-oriented periodical, own between thirty and thirty-five ties, never buy lemon-scented products, and have a power tool in my basement, but none

'The GOOD news is that we've identified our target market, the bad news is that his name is Kevin and he lives with his mother.'

Hispanic Population Gains

"And don't waste your time canvassing the whole building, young man. We think alike."

India's population overtaking China's

'Admit it - your name is going to be on more than one census form tonight, isn't it?'

"Dude! Check it out! Waynes and Shanes. We're a demographic!"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

World Production.

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

Population rocket

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Violent Crime Statistics

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

The Problem with World Population Growth

"Eureka! Details to follow."

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'