Demographic Observer Gifts

Aging and birth rate in the population

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Billions for Terrorists, No Tribute to Americans

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

The Problem with World Population Growth

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

'Why should I vote for a two-bit lame-brained nobody, when i could vote for a two-bit lamb-brained somebody with 'name recognition'?'

"God help us, it's that guy."

Midterm election s results

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

U.S. demographic affecting senate representation.

"Who knew we'd be a desirable demographic?"

Biden-Trump rematch 2024

'It's 10 P.M. do you know who's in charge of Egypt - the Muslim Brotherhood or the military?'

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

"He claims to be self aware but he clearly can't read a room."

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

'Give it to me straight, doc. How much longer do I have in advertising's prime demographic audience?'

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

Who Do Those Maniacs Think They Are?

The Establishment Election

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

"Vote for me!"

"I love people-watching."

"I'm starting to miss the summer people. It's been weeks since I glowered."

"Oh, God, it's the Herefords, pretend we don't see them."

China deploys troops to prepare for an American invasion of North Korea. Russia warns that if America attacks Syria again, Russia will respond with force. Y'know, last time we had a world war, we weren't the ones everyone was defending themselves against. Sometimes when you're playing tag, it's more fun to be "it." We should have out own political show.

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."