Dirt Detective Gifts

'Don't jump to conclusions, Mom... looks can be deceiving.'

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Evolution.

The Devil's in the detail!

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

A Young Boy Talking To An Old Gentleman.

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

Unsafe Drain Covers!

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

Micro and Macro Department,

Don't forget to read the small print.

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

"Do you swear you haven't embroidered the truth in your testimony today?"

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help the Google?"

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

Devil in the detail

When pedants take a break.

"Before I give you my resume, I'd like to know how thorough you fact check."

"Play the last presidential debate....hold on....first take our all the lies and stuff..."

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

Forward Planning - The key to Success

"You want the truth, the whole truth, or nothing but the truth?"

I'm sorry, sir, but the fact-checkers convention isn't until next week. Hotel.

What a nation looks like with a free press and access to information / What a nation looks like with no free press and no access to correct information.

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

Dentist as Sherlock Holmes investigating a patient's mouth

Grim Reaper walks through an urban environment wearing a gas mask.

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

'Would you like my professional advice, or my honest opinion?.'

'There's only one piece left. C'mon, we can figure this out.'

'I'll do anything to find water in this drought.'

Rashomon of West 84th Street