Drainage Detective Gifts

'We're having a bit of a problem with the drainage in our bathroom. . .How soon can you get somebody out to us?. . .Have you got anything earlier than Tuesday?'

The interested bystanders.

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

Evolution.

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

Unsafe Drain Covers!

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

Happy Face Grows Third Eye.

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

Coffin floating out of outflow pipe.

'The bad news is that you've got damp rot. The good news is - it's drowning your woodworm.'

"There's a red light at the end of the tunnel."

'This is the biggest belly button in the world.'

Twig! Please come into my bathroom! Have you been using my makeup? You're paranoid! Everything is in its place. Why would you accuse me? Just a hunch.

'Curiosity'

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

'Yes Sarge - looks like another carbon footprint'

'Well,here's the answer to why your car has been running so rough in the mornings Mr.Tait...It's pregnant!'

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

'I'll do anything to find water in this drought.'

'I don't know, Al... A dumpster in the middle of the woods! Seems kind of fishy to me.'

'I'm from China!'

Cluster Catastrophe

'This tastes like dishwater.'

Not only have we been laid off, but, being small, we can crawl through air ducts with ease.

"Doc! The particulate matter readings are spiking!"

In Agatha Christie's bathroom.

Snail Peephole

'I Keep Thinking it's Somerset.'

The Ocean's Plug

German Flooding

Rudy, it's come to my attention you've spilled 348 gallons of coffee and tea. What? I did not! I'm talking over the course of the last 16 years. Don't bother denying it, every time you've spilled a drop, Gunther measured it. Gunther? Who's Gunther? That's what I named him. He came here on a low-skilled work visa. He's been working under the floorboards ever since it expired. Very bad man.

'Don't jump to conclusions, Mom... looks can be deceiving.'

God uses a corkscrew on a volcano.

'It isn't on a flood plain is it?'