Flood Detective Gifts

'It isn't on a flood plain is it?'

'I Keep Thinking it's Somerset.'

German Flooding

"We'll always have Paris..."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

Captain steering house through flood.

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"I can see our house from here."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

Unsafe Drain Covers!

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"What do you mean, 'Climate change is not just humbug?'"

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

'Do you suppose we might qualify for asylum in Holland?'

Honey, wake up

Chelsea flower show sewage

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

'I'll do anything to find water in this drought.'

'If you can smile when everything around you is going wrong... you're probably in the repair business!'

'Should we upgrade the levees or just go hydroponic?'

'It's the plumber ... '

"Actually we were hoping for something a little more sensible..."

Cluster Catastrophe

Official in flooded office says: 'A decision on lifting the hosepipe ban will be made in due course.'

'It's a very nice house, when the tide is out.'

Master Plumber

"Warning! The fish in this lake are very smart!!"