Dust Detective Gifts

'Non-alcoholic wines? Aisle 7, on the left - just keep shoveling dust 'til you hit them.'

"Darling - these shelves could do with a dust..."

"My new glasses can see every speck of dust. That's why I don't wear them."

The interested bystanders.

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Evolution.

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

Happy Face Grows Third Eye.

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

"So in other words, we're hoping to discover what makes the nitty, gritty."

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

"I don't use straws anymore. Straws are bad for the environment."

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

"I keep hearing this annoying buzzing noise!"

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

I can carry all the plastic bags I need!

'No, it's not the Rapture - The kids next door got a trampoline.'

'Yes Sarge - looks like another carbon footprint'

Man sells IRS insurance outside IRS building.

Think Zero Defects

'It's a simple change. Instead of software, you should be writing off your employees as hardware.'

'Tch! Look at the dust in here.'

Fire at the Bisto Factory

"Have I met my deductible yet?"

'I'm from China!'

"I drive to work every day. Those are business trips, aren't they?"

'I don't know, Al... A dumpster in the middle of the woods! Seems kind of fishy to me.'

'Do you have anything that will help me do my taxes?' 'Yes, but we're not allowed to sell it on Sundays.'