Chalk Dust Detective Gifts

"You told me to make you a bird table."

The interested bystanders.

Evolution.

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

Unsafe Drain Covers!

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

Missing Easter Egg

Getting Rid of the Cure

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

Shrink

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

'You will tell me if you have any doubts about my formulae, won't you?'

Grim Reaper walks through an urban environment wearing a gas mask.

'Ha! I knew they were just little trees!'

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

'Yes Sarge - looks like another carbon footprint'

'Heaven welcomes botanists, we've millions of extinct plants that need classifying!'

'I'm from China!'

'Yes, it's full of chemicals.'

"Doc! The particulate matter readings are spiking!"

"OK...not taking a shower is not an option for teenage boys!"

Not only have we been laid off, but, being small, we can crawl through air ducts with ease.

"I'm poison oak. I'm pretty sure I'm poison oak.... Or is that poison oak?"

Scientist feels down back of sofa, saying: 'I think I've found the Higgs boson!'

'It's the only way to get to see their more inaccessible plants!'

'You know that rare specimen you lost - I think I've found it!'

The Ocean's Plug

'Chalk is so retro. Why haven't you upgraded to an interactive electronic whiteboard?'

'Non-alcoholic wines? Aisle 7, on the left - just keep shoveling dust 'til you hit them.'

'I'm not here for a refund. I'm here for a postmortem.'