Demonologist Fan Gifts

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

Meowlzebub

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

I demand to see a lawyer. May I say, you've come to the right place.

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Can I see that 'National Law Journal' when you're through with it?"

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

Hellbillies.

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

"Running out for lawyers and CEOs. Want anything?"

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

"My name's Karezog, Despoiler of Worlds, Devourer of Souls. I'll be your server tonight."

'It was a split decision.'

"Yes, I have worked with Donald Trump's hair."

Dave began to suspect that he had moved next door to the neighbour from hell.

'Get me Hell, Miss Saunders. I wish to sell my soul.'

"Dad, do you believe in God?"

"Hey - are those scented candles???"

"Department of infernal affairs. How may I misdirect your employee pension plan?"

'At least it's a dry heat'

"Oh, by the way, as you were on your way down here your lottery ticket won seventeen million dollars."

Human Resources and Inhuman Resources

Excercising demons

'Careful, this plate isn't hot.'

"Yeah but he wasn't just the devourer of souls, he also created lots of jobs!"

"I don't have time right now to recite the entire litany of reasons why I think you look and act like a couple of idiots."

Pest Shop.

"Ok, first the good news..."

'Hey! Where's the fire?'