Demonology Devotee Gifts

"Hey, you guys talking about me? My ears were freezing."

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

'Hey, you! -- What happened to the pet dinosaurs we left here?'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Meowlzebub

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

I demand to see a lawyer. May I say, you've come to the right place.

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

Hellbillies.

'Our ultrasound equipment is not working, so we've brought in famed psychic Jennifer Armstrong to give us a vision of the fetus.'

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

Utilosaurus

How to survive the coming crash.

"For all we know, a giant meteor could fall out of the sky and eradicate us all. So what do you say we make a little prehistory together?"

'He's a pretty good pet, except for the 'walkies' part.'

"Unfortunately, extinction was inevitable for the Have-a-need-for-speed-asaurus."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

'...and they were carnivorous.'

"If you're going to write a review, don't forget to mention our generous portions."

Holocene, Pleistocene, Pliocene, Miocene, Oligocene, Eocene, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Onions.

Descartes's Demon

Never forget to floss.

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

'We're going on a little vacation, and we were wondering if you folks would mind taking care of Spot.'

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

"If you want me to ask him that you'll have to wait until after the watershed."