Demonology Devotee Gifts

"Hey, you guys talking about me? My ears were freezing."

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'Hey, you! -- What happened to the pet dinosaurs we left here?'

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

Meowlzebub

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

I demand to see a lawyer. May I say, you've come to the right place.

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

Hellbillies.

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

'...and they were carnivorous.'

Utilosaurus

"If you're going to write a review, don't forget to mention our generous portions."

"Unfortunately, extinction was inevitable for the Have-a-need-for-speed-asaurus."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

'He's a pretty good pet, except for the 'walkies' part.'

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

Holocene, Pleistocene, Pliocene, Miocene, Oligocene, Eocene, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Onions.

Descartes's Demon

Never forget to floss.

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

'We're going on a little vacation, and we were wondering if you folks would mind taking care of Spot.'

"Hurry-up, make it snappy!"

'It was a split decision.'