Demon Fan Gifts

"I'll have whatever they're having."

On his report card, he got A's in sloth, wrath, gluttony, lust, greed and envy --- He's very proud of himself!

"I don't have time right now to recite the entire litany of reasons why I think you look and act like a couple of idiots."

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

Zombie pet tricks.

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

Vampire collects bottles of blood from his doorstep.

Halloween Selfie

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'Igor, quit bugging me!'

"Yaffle: For the funny bone in you"

"Do I have to go out again!?"

At a secluded, candle-lit dinner, love rears its ugly head.

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

"Google Earth must have a defective camera. There's a big red spot above our location."

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

"Well, we got the grant."

"Don't mix this up...I want a car with a moonroof. He wants one with a sunroof."

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

'What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?'

"Can I see that 'National Law Journal' when you're through with it?"

mr godzilla you need anger management

'It's a new medication I'm working on, but the side effects are monsterous.'

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

Ape ambushes anteater hiding behind a monolith.

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"