Demon Fan Pillows

"I'll have whatever they're having."

"I don't have time right now to recite the entire litany of reasons why I think you look and act like a couple of idiots."

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

Zombie pet tricks.

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

"Yaffle: For the funny bone in you"

Vampire collects bottles of blood from his doorstep.

Halloween Selfie

'Igor, quit bugging me!'

"Do I have to go out again!?"

At a secluded, candle-lit dinner, love rears its ugly head.

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

"Well, we got the grant."

"Google Earth must have a defective camera. There's a big red spot above our location."

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

'What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?'

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

"Can I see that 'National Law Journal' when you're through with it?"

'It's a new medication I'm working on, but the side effects are monsterous.'

mr godzilla you need anger management

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.

Monster Realtor

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

Halloween sculptor