Demon Lore Fan Pillows

"Dad, do you believe in God?"

Vlad the Impala

Zombies.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

Naming that Impala

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Can I see that 'National Law Journal' when you're through with it?"

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

"Running out for lawyers and CEOs. Want anything?"

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

"I know winter gets ugly, but this is ridiculous!"

"I'll have whatever they're having."

"So that's a 'no'. . .?"

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"The Emperor is naked - and he has a flabby butt!"

"Yes, I have worked with Donald Trump's hair."

"My name's Karezog, Despoiler of Worlds, Devourer of Souls. I'll be your server tonight."

Burning and Rotting In Hell Desk Organisers

'Get me Hell, Miss Saunders. I wish to sell my soul.'

"Notice the quintessential aroma of Tuscany in this impressive little vintner we picked up in Italy."

'We spent centuries refining our eyes of newt and bat wing potion, and now we're expected to give it away for free?'

"Department of infernal affairs. How may I misdirect your employee pension plan?"

'At least it's a dry heat'

"Oh, by the way, as you were on your way down here your lottery ticket won seventeen million dollars."

'Truce?'

Human Resources and Inhuman Resources

Objects in mirror are closer than they appear...

"Got Blood?"

Pest Shop.

A vampire is frightened after being served hot cross buns.