Demon Lore Fan Gifts

"Dad, do you believe in God?"

Vlad the Impala

Zombies.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

Naming that Impala

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Can I see that 'National Law Journal' when you're through with it?"

"Running out for lawyers and CEOs. Want anything?"

"I know winter gets ugly, but this is ridiculous!"

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

"I'll have whatever they're having."

"So that's a 'no'. . .?"

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"Yes, I have worked with Donald Trump's hair."

"My name's Karezog, Despoiler of Worlds, Devourer of Souls. I'll be your server tonight."

"The Emperor is naked - and he has a flabby butt!"

Burning and Rotting In Hell Desk Organisers

'Get me Hell, Miss Saunders. I wish to sell my soul.'

Puppet holding cross at Vampire Puppet

"Notice the quintessential aroma of Tuscany in this impressive little vintner we picked up in Italy."

'We spent centuries refining our eyes of newt and bat wing potion, and now we're expected to give it away for free?'

"Department of infernal affairs. How may I misdirect your employee pension plan?"

'At least it's a dry heat'

"Oh, by the way, as you were on your way down here your lottery ticket won seventeen million dollars."

'Truce?'

Human Resources and Inhuman Resources

"Ok, first the good news..."

Objects in mirror are closer than they appear...

'Bad sport.'

"Got Blood?"

'WHOA Look out, you idiot You almost walked under a ladder'