Demon Lore Aficionado Gifts

"Oh, by the way, as you were on your way down here your lottery ticket won seventeen million dollars."

"Today's special is the same as always: broiled soul."

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

Zombies.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"I believe I you, Bigfoot."

"Can I see that 'National Law Journal' when you're through with it?"

"Running out for lawyers and CEOs. Want anything?"

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

"So that's a 'no'. . .?"

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

"My name's Karezog, Despoiler of Worlds, Devourer of Souls. I'll be your server tonight."

"Yes, I have worked with Donald Trump's hair."

Burning and Rotting In Hell Desk Organisers

"Dad, do you believe in God?"

"Department of infernal affairs. How may I misdirect your employee pension plan?"

'At least it's a dry heat'

'Truce?'

Human Resources and Inhuman Resources

'No wonder it's so warm! Someone's been messing with the thermostat again!'

Happy St George's Day.

'Hey! Where's the fire?'

Pest Shop.

"Ok, first the good news..."

'Bad sport.'

"Finally! A distraction from my inner demons."

"I'd sell my soul for one of those."

"Dragons were never out of style."

"Oh, you big silly. Did you forget to put the clock back?"

'Canned? -- couldn't you find a fresh one?'

"What are you lookin' at? Never seen a routine fire drill before?"

'Dad, I wanted my toast lightly browned, not burnt!'