Musical Demon Enthusiast Pillows

"Intern."

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Can I see that 'National Law Journal' when you're through with it?"

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

Hellbillies.

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

"Running out for lawyers and CEOs. Want anything?"

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

"My name's Karezog, Despoiler of Worlds, Devourer of Souls. I'll be your server tonight."

"Yes, I have worked with Donald Trump's hair."

'It was a split decision.'

'Get me Hell, Miss Saunders. I wish to sell my soul.'

"Dad, do you believe in God?"

The Terror Of Folkenstein

"Department of infernal affairs. How may I misdirect your employee pension plan?"

'At least it's a dry heat'

"Oh, by the way, as you were on your way down here your lottery ticket won seventeen million dollars."

Human Resources and Inhuman Resources

'Hey! Where's the fire?'

'Bad sport.'

"Finally! A distraction from my inner demons."

"Ok, first the good news..."

Pest Shop.

"I don't have time right now to recite the entire litany of reasons why I think you look and act like a couple of idiots."

'Relax pal, I'm just a fan.'

"Fallen angel" - A memoir: signing today