Deli Humor Lover Gifts

Wild Irv Moskowitz, the meanest deli-man in the West.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"I'm a retired doctor."

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

There's a strange mist over my food. You never heard of pea soup fog?

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

End of the day bargains at the cheese counter.

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

The Salvador Deli.

The Deli Counter

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

Carnegie Deli

Lovingly Handmade Sandwiches

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

Please be gentle, waiter. This is my first salad. I'm sorry, sir, but there's a reason they call it "roughage."

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

'Waiter there's a mouse in my soup.'

'What's the special?'

Deli/Antiques: Got Shrimp? Got Gout?

"Waiter, there are needles in my stew."

"No, I didn't say the Euro was up, I said the gyro was up. The deli raised their prices fifty cents."

The jungle grill!

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

The Deli Lama - Sandwich shop.

'Are you sure you want the party sub? I mean are you sure? Are you buying it for someone else or something???'