Deli Aficionado Gifts

End of the day bargains at the cheese counter.

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Deli-Meats: Short Attention Spam

Lovingly Handmade Sandwiches

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Baloneystini

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

A Freudian slip...

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"....and hold the garlic."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"He'd like the broiled monkfish, too, but first he's having a quick taste of the gutter."

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

Baracracy

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

"Ah — excellent catsup."