Deli Devotees Gifts

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

Baloneystini

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'How would you like your toast?'

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"A votre sante!"

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Just a drop."

"Is everything ok with your Emile?"

"I'm a retired doctor."

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

A train's dining car is a diner.

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

Sandwich snob.

'Meat loaf again!'

Mum's Diner - you finish those veggies!

"Our cook is working through a lot of stuff."