Deli Fan Gifts

"Everything bagel?"

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Baloneystini

"What did Jesus order?"

'I really don't know why we bother coming here - the food's always crap.'

"How about a little more coffee?"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"I'm a retired doctor."

"Gosh, it's hot in Roswell!"

Have you heard of a celebrity roast, Lance? The closest I ever came to a celebrity roast was the time I had a roast beef in a deli and Henny Youngman walked in.

End of the day bargains at the cheese counter.

I'd like it sliced thin for sandwiches.

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

The Salvador Deli.

"We think it sort of brightens up the breakfast."

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."

Lovingly Handmade Sandwiches

The Deli Counter

'The waitress gave us a weird look. On the way back, I'd better drive and you can stick your head out the window.'

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

Carnegie Deli

"Bring me a bottle of chardonnay and one long straw."

"This is a 'deli-cut' situation...."

Shopper-Gatherers Considering The Mammoth Special At A Pleistocene Deli

Deli/Antiques: Got Shrimp? Got Gout?

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

"Hey, Merle, table 8 wants ham and eggs. . . Errr. . . chocolate!"

Wild Irv Moskowitz, the meanest deli-man in the West.

'Red meat is bad for you.' 'No, red meat is not bad for me. Green meat is bad for me!'