Deli Meat Fan Gifts

"The bologna is locally sourced from the convenience store down the street."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Baloneystini

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"How about a little more coffee?"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"Butcher a tune for you today, ma'am?"

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"I'm a retired doctor."

End of the day bargains at the cheese counter.

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

'Mary, watch where you're pointing that thing!'

'The waitress gave us a weird look. On the way back, I'd better drive and you can stick your head out the window.'

Warming hands over soup.

The Deli Counter

"Everything bagel?"

Carnegie Deli

Lovingly Handmade Sandwiches

'Your meal should be along shortly. Frank just went out to hunt it.'

"We think it sort of brightens up the breakfast."

"This is a 'deli-cut' situation...."

"Hey, Merle, table 8 wants ham and eggs. . . Errr. . . chocolate!"

Deli/Antiques: Got Shrimp? Got Gout?

'Red meat is bad for you.' 'No, red meat is not bad for me. Green meat is bad for me!'

Diner. We'll have a hamburger and a veggie burger, please. Two burgers -- One regular and one de-calf.

101 Placenta Recipes

'How's your liver?', 'Okay for now, but my doctor told me to take it easy.'

'They describe the end of the ice age as the 'Big Brownout'. They lost more than 10,000 pounds of mammoth steaks.'

'I'll have a dozen custard pies as well, please!'

"Night, owl!"