Deli Meat Enthusiast Gifts

"This is a 'deli-cut' situation...."

Important Food Groups

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

Baloneystini

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

Family Butcher.

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

*=Hotdog

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

The Deli Llama

Down on Her.

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

"Veal or non-veal?"

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"I'm a retired doctor."

Pigs at butcher: 'One day son, all this will be you..'

"Appetizer is almost done."

Nothing sweeter than seeing an old couple holding hams.

Have you heard of a celebrity roast, Lance? The closest I ever came to a celebrity roast was the time I had a roast beef in a deli and Henny Youngman walked in.

End of the day bargains at the cheese counter.

"America hasn't been discovered yet -- how about cheddar?"

'Where did you get the meat slicer? France.'

I'd like it sliced thin for sandwiches.

Vlad the Impaler - The Later Years.

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

The Salvador Deli.

Low Carb Dieter Birthdays - diving for meat from the pinata.

'But darling, he doesn't kill the cows.'