Deli Aficionado Pillows

End of the day bargains at the cheese counter.

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Deli-Meats: Short Attention Spam

Lovingly Handmade Sandwiches

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

Baloneystini

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

A Freudian slip...

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"....and hold the garlic."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

Long Corkscrew

"This is a big wine. I recommend you order some big food."

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

"He'd like the broiled monkfish, too, but first he's having a quick taste of the gutter."

"Ah — excellent catsup."