Defiance Aficionado Gifts

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

Priest's 'To do' list.

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

People leave joke shop with false moustache, nose and glasses marketed as 'the Robert Winston'.

A Masked Ball

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.

'I've been a Sox fan for years.'

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

Robots in disguise.

Assasination Attempt on Tsar Alexander II

"That won't fool any hunters."

How to wear a false moustache.

Tree Camouflage

"No, it's not real, but it does wonders for school bus discipline."

"I hear you're the expert on loyalty."

'I believe that if something is worth doing, I'll have my people do it.'

'Delegating has worked well for me....I haven't actually done anything since 1993.'

'Just had to text and ride, didn't you?'

Superman's alter-alter egos

I am what I am. Ain't no politician, political party, nor other group gonna change my plan. Your business is yours and mine is mine...don't make me break open a spinach can!"

Dagger Juggling Circus Act Goes Wrong

Back in the old days, when mob rule etiquette counted for something.

Combination Voting Booth/Confessional.

"It's the price we pay for living an alternative lifestyle."

Negotiating Skills for Beginners.

'Does anyone have experience operating this thing?' 'MOI!'

'It's Duck Season: I'm pretending to be a platypus...'

'Sorry, Coach. My endorsement contract requires me to hold this can of soda at all times.'

'Hey, I'm sorry! It's Spring, and I was watching the woman in the blue dress!'

Extreme Makeover.

A little powder and a little paint makes a girl what she ain't!

Count Atoine Maurice Apollinaire d'Argout

"Well, you know the old saying, if you want loyalty, get a dog."

"Of course we're a real-life, legitimate, trustworthy, responsible, ticket-taking adult."