Deck Manipulator Gifts

'I love working with my hands.'

'How about a game of cards?'

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

'I told you I'd deal with your transfer request, Jenkins. Cut the deck!'

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

'He's out massaging,manipulating and monopolising.'

'Lucas A Non Lucendo.'

In his later years, Redbeard's hearing was to fail him.

'How about a game of cards?'

'Don't tie up, boys. This is a private slip.'

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

"#*@!% #*@!% #*@!%"

'Putting up a deck chair is a real bugger at the best of times.'

Sailors Scrubbing the Decks

'Ok, the cat's away. Time to play.'

"Good news, your yacht club membership has arrived!"

'I think you are taking this Boatswain's mate thing a bit too seriously sailor!'

Illustration for 'A Wrinkle for the Coastguard'.

"Haven't you heard! There's going to be a bit of a reshuffle!"

Think Sales!

Beach Day

'A spin doctor just isn't enough any more, Senator - you need a choreographer.'

'He's been trying to control the television for years.'

Ship Captain Playing Cards

Sally, Jim - you'll handle daily speech writing. Vince, as usual, will be in charge of attack ads.'

Spin doctor arriving at an emergency.

'It might help with our friends in the media if you hang that upside down.'

Genetic Meddling - sparrow sharks

'I see you've got Billy scrubbing the decks again.'

Ernie McKelvey, moments before his life is touched by scandal.