Deckhand Gifts

In his later years, Redbeard's hearing was to fail him.

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

'Lucas A Non Lucendo.'

'Putting up a deck chair is a real bugger at the best of times.'

Ship Captain Playing Cards

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"Morning, all!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

Time for More Paperwork

'How about a game of cards?'

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

National Boss Monument.

Lumbar support animal

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

"I feel your pain."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.