Deck Seaman Gifts

'I think you are taking this Boatswain's mate thing a bit too seriously sailor!'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

'How about a game of cards?'

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

Cargo Bay at Thames Warehouse

'It was this big. I swear'

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

'There was a time I thought humans were as smart as we are.'

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

The ambush.

'Well, we still think you're a naughty boy, running away to sea like that!'

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

'Well, the weatherman was wrong again. He said we would have heavy but isolated showers today.'

'Lucas A Non Lucendo.'

'Jimmie,it's not nice to call someone a bigmouth.'

Man tried to unload a ship in a bottle.

Fisherman's catch getting it's revenge

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

Scotland Yard - coal heavers singing in a public house

"Whaddya say, Black? We'll plunder the seas together. You scratch my back; I'll scratch yours."

'Your father had a big mouth, too.'

Fishing for Peace.

Man having picture of caught fish sees that cat has eaten it.

A writer goes sailing.

'Here's another note wanting to know if we have any more shiners-they're delicious.'

Eskimo to one with huge whale: 'You're sure it's all good cholesterol?'

'Don't forget. When this photo shoot is over I get a bucket of shiners.'

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

"A textbook landing..."

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."

In his later years, Redbeard's hearing was to fail him.

Dun Decking

'Shark bites seem to be more numerous than ever this year.'