Deck Officer Gifts

A sailor refusing to give up his alcohol.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Servicemen.

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

If nobody had invented graphics

The Dubloon Stops Here

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Sailor in Car.

'How about a game of cards?'

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Local News in Heaven

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

Police film evidence

Subwoofer

Lifesaver!

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

Cargo Bay at Thames Warehouse

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

Sailor's Poker.

"Richard was recently promoted to first mate."

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

'When I said attached the anchor to something heavy I didn't mean your Uncle Barry!'