Desk Officer Gifts

As a Desk Officer McDonald failed to impress his superiors.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Morning, all!"

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

Time for More Paperwork

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"I feel your pain."

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

National Boss Monument.

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Lumbar support animal

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

Busy office.

Work Slave

"We should have taken the cubicles."