Desk Captain Gifts

'She's in post-vacation shock. Two weeks off and she feels like she never left.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Morning, all!"

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Time for More Paperwork

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

Lumbar support animal

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

"I feel your pain."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

Busy office.

Work Slave

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'