Deck Manipulator T-Shirts

'I love working with my hands.'

'How about a game of cards?'

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

'I told you I'd deal with your transfer request, Jenkins. Cut the deck!'

'Lucas A Non Lucendo.'

'He's out massaging,manipulating and monopolising.'

In his later years, Redbeard's hearing was to fail him.

Boss, the health inspector is here. Excellent. My hacker just finished restoring all the inspector's social media posts dating back to 1994. Tell him "It'd be a shame if someone's career were ruined by a 20-year-old video of him doing the Macarena in the buff." Don't wink too much. But not too little, either. Very bad man.

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

Sailors Scrubbing the Decks

'Don't tie up, boys. This is a private slip.'

'How about a game of cards?'

'Putting up a deck chair is a real bugger at the best of times.'

'Does Santa have skype?. . . I'd like to get in some face time, so he puts me at the top of his list come December. . .'

"#*@!% #*@!% #*@!%"

'Ok, the cat's away. Time to play.'

"Good news, your yacht club membership has arrived!"

'I think you are taking this Boatswain's mate thing a bit too seriously sailor!'

Illustration for 'A Wrinkle for the Coastguard'.

"Haven't you heard! There's going to be a bit of a reshuffle!"

Think Sales!

Beach Day

'A spin doctor just isn't enough any more, Senator - you need a choreographer.'

'He's been trying to control the television for years.'

Ship Captain Playing Cards

Sally, Jim - you'll handle daily speech writing. Vince, as usual, will be in charge of attack ads.'

Spin doctor arriving at an emergency.

'It might help with our friends in the media if you hang that upside down.'

Genetic Meddling - sparrow sharks

'I see you've got Billy scrubbing the decks again.'

I wonder if I can fix this in Photoshop.

Which one of you devils sabotaged my television coverage? Randy, I know it wasn't you because you're too stupid to figure that out. Wrong! Really? You fell for that? Stupid, no; egoistic, to a fault.