Deceptive Desk Decorator Gifts

"I keep all these photos on my desk to hide the fact that I'm not working."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

The Pencil and Sharpener

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Face Painting.

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'...Couldn't you just get pictures for your desk?'

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

'Quick, press control Z!'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'In,' 'Out' and 'Organize.'

Redecorating Easter Island.

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

Man with desk wrapped as a Christmas present.

"Does this desk make my job look big?"