Debt Decoder Gifts

'I'm now ready to make my own way in the world. But first, can you guys loan me 200 grand to pay off my student loan?'

"I need something to tide me over between student loans and social security."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Eurobonds Explained.

Paw readings

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

"I asked my friends over to see how much the adults are leaving us to pay off!"

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

'I sense this may not be a one-way journey.'

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.

Information vs. confusion

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

"Wow! Even from space the Italian mountain of debt is visible!"

"Yes, human DNA is very close to ours, but obviously, they're missing the nucleotide necessary for caring for the environment. . ."

'...just robbing peter to pay paul...what's up with you?'

What comes after a trillion

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

'I FEEL YOUR PAIN!'

"I don't see much borrowing on your credit report but I do see a lot of begging and stealing."

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'He's one of those genetically-altered antibodies.'

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

Abraham Lincoln sends his first bill - Three score dollars and ten.

Euro crisis bailout.

'Cancel your debt? How do you think I make my money?'

'Can you believe this bank...? Yesterday they refuse me a loan, today they send me a leaflet for a loan.'