Dealing With Redundancy Gifts

'Do you have any employers references?'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

St. Elmo's fired.

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

'This is Bob - our secret agent of change.'

"I figured my stress ball should match the size of my anxiety."

'Sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going.'

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

'The good news is we're not laying you off. The bad news is we want you to take a 20-year lunch break without pay.'

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

'We'll add extra to your severance package if you promise to go to work for our competition.'

'I interview well, but only for exit interviews.'

"Come out, Snivers, it's a decent enough redundancy package."

"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job."

"Our profits have been out-sourced ."

"Your son's web presence doesn't make up for his truancy."

"You're all redundant."

"At least you didn't get the axe."

'We're keeping Edwards because he forwards the funnier e-mails.'

Department of Wastage - Formerly 'Middle Management'

"I have some character-building news for you."

'Reed oil aboot tit!'

"Don't bother replying. That's YOUR job being advertised."

"Being a CEO is a bit like being a football manager. . ."

Take Harris up in the company helicopter and throw him out.

"Trevor, you've been an asset to the company for the past ten years, but it's time for a fresh face..."