Dealing With Redundancy Pillows

'Do you have any employers references?'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

St. Elmo's fired.

"I figured my stress ball should match the size of my anxiety."

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

'The good news is we're not laying you off. The bad news is we want you to take a 20-year lunch break without pay.'

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

'We'll add extra to your severance package if you promise to go to work for our competition.'

"Our profits have been out-sourced ."

"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job."

"Your son's web presence doesn't make up for his truancy."

"You're all redundant."

'I interview well, but only for exit interviews.'

"Come out, Snivers, it's a decent enough redundancy package."

"At least you didn't get the axe."

'We're keeping Edwards because he forwards the funnier e-mails.'

Department of Wastage - Formerly 'Middle Management'

"I have some character-building news for you."

'Reed oil aboot tit!'

Take Harris up in the company helicopter and throw him out.

"Don't bother replying. That's YOUR job being advertised."

"Being a CEO is a bit like being a football manager. . ."

"We're very sorry, Templeton."

"Trevor, you've been an asset to the company for the past ten years, but it's time for a fresh face..."