Being Made Redundant Gifts

"At least you didn't get the axe."

"Jack, can you earn a living with your golf... starting tomorrow?"

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Sorry, Foster, but I'm letting you go. I just downloaded the 'Scapegoat' app."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

St. Elmo's fired.

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

'The good news is we're not laying you off. The bad news is we want you to take a 20-year lunch break without pay.'

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

'We'll add extra to your severance package if you promise to go to work for our competition.'

"Your son's web presence doesn't make up for his truancy."

"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job."

"You're all redundant."

'I interview well, but only for exit interviews.'

"Come out, Snivers, it's a decent enough redundancy package."

"Aren't you the old guy in purchasing whose decades of slavish devotion inspired us to replace you with a small army of sycophants?"

Department of Wastage - Formerly 'Middle Management'

'We're keeping Edwards because he forwards the funnier e-mails.'

"I have some character-building news for you."

Take Harris up in the company helicopter and throw him out.

'I always said he was on the fast track.'

"Don't bother replying. That's YOUR job being advertised."

'Reed oil aboot tit!'

"Being a CEO is a bit like being a football manager. . ."

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'

"I was quite pleased to find a job which allows me to see more of my husband."

"Trevor, you've been an asset to the company for the past ten years, but it's time for a fresh face..."

"We need to be extra careful about expenditure...and I thought we could save a but by having the Xmas, New Year and redundancy parties at the same time!"

'Take your eye patch and that stupid parrot and your wooden leg and get out.'

'You are a credit to the human race, Yardsley. Unfortunately, you're a liability to this firm.'

"Dead man walking!"