Dealing With Mortgage Issues Gifts

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

Standard & Poor

Canine Comedians

Occupy Budget Balancing

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"You can huff and puff all you want. The house is foreclosed and belongs to the bank."

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

"I'm going to look for a mortgage...I may be some time!"

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

Life plan

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

'Is there anything we can do to repay you other than to repay you?'

Bank of England Base Rates.

"Homeowner please help."

'First the good news - you won't have to pay mortgage insurance anymore.'

Home seller has given up after reducing price many times.

"... And how long have you had this irrational fear that you'll never get a mortgage?"

'That might well have made you feel better, Mr. Jones, but we still have to negotiate a figure. . .'

Foreclosure

A bank swallows a home.

'We're being foreclosed on. We're going to have to relocate to a loafer.'

'Good news! We've got a buyer.'

"I want a reverse mortgage. Take me back to when I didn't have one."

'Why are more homeowners walking away from their mortgages?'

'I will now make these excellent mortgage deals disappear!'

"Congratulations, you got the mortgage—now how about piggy-backing a home equity loan on top of it?"

A mortgage based on your income would be about £120000 but if we take into account the size and voluptuousness of your breasts then the figure would be nearer £400000.

"Were you aware you'll need to sign over your wife & kids as collateral in order to secure this property?"

"For a 2 bed will need a guarantor, you don't by any chance know Jeff Bezos do you?"

'If I understand it right, we hold the mortgage on the bank which holds the mortgage on our house.'

'She couldn't keep up with the mortgage repayments.'