Mortgage Management Gifts

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Great Chinese Dynasties

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

U.S. Credit Rating

Standard & Poor

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'My piggy bank charged shaking fees.'

Counting my Bonus...

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

Standard And P****d.

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"