Mortgages Gifts

I'm afraid your loan will be stuck in underwriting until you've each had a full panic attack.'

'Step into my time machine, and we'll travel back to when you could get a mortgage on your salary.'

"The bank has completed the loan application review phase. We're now in the loan denial phase."

"I have faithfully made all my mortgage repayments."

jumping hoops for mortgages and loans...

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

'What's your not-quite-so prime rate?'

'Can I still borrow some of that housing money no one was expected to pay back?'

"We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate."

"We have the perfect plan for you. It's the mortgaged to the eyeballs plan."

'Oh no! Not another customer looking for a mortgage...'

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

'The mortgage I can handle, but I also have an adjustable-rate wife.'

Banker: The Mortgage the Merrier.

I have a dream.

'But on the bright side, I never worry about the housing booms and bubbles.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'So, the kid who used to steal my lunch money needs a second mortgage...'

"With house prices the way they are then the idea of a 'lifetime' mortgage makes a lot of sense."

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

'Yes, our mortgages are as flexible as you are!

"Now I know many of you still have questions about reverse mortgages...."

I rhyme today for I feel great cheer. Listen up, people. I am truly moved. The greatest three words a man can hear. You are pre-approved! Hail the bard of the home-loan sonnet.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

Standard & Poor

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Canine Comedians

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"Whatever you do, keep up with your mortgage payments."