Dealing With Infertility Gifts

Man singing 'I've lost that loving feeling' outside infertility clinic.

"We used to tell people we were childless by choice until we found they're less judgmental if we blame it on fertility problems."

'We can't have children . . . jack jumps over candlesticks.'

Busker singing 'I Lost That Loving Feeling' outside an infertility clinic.

'I'm very sorry, the tests have shown you're not a Queen: You can't have babies...'

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

IVF assessment centre.

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Three Parent Baby

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Pregnancy Test

"Does it say 'I'm ovulating'?"

"So, how long have you been trying?"

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

Fertility Center.

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, but these pills you have to take come in a child-proof bottle.'

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

"Don't even start, Claire. You knew I was a snake when you took me in."

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'