Seeking Fertility Treatment Gifts

Doctor checking a man's testicle to find out about fertility problems.

Male and Female doors to IVF clinic

Fertility Center.

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

IVF assessment centre.

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Three Parent Baby

"So, how long have you been trying?"

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Pregnancy Test

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

'Don't take this the wrong way, but these pills you have to take come in a child-proof bottle.'

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

'Last one in is a rotten egg.'

Sperm Bank: Penetrations...Withdrawals.

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

Science and mothers day

You're expecting twins. What! I wanted a least triplets!

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

'I'm sorry to inform you, Mrs. Cottontail, you're out of eggs.'