Fertility Doctor Gifts

Mary being offered a caesarian section to remain a virgin

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

Male and Female doors to IVF clinic

Fertility Clinic - The consulting doctor has been very prolific.

'Wait a minute! These are water balloons!' 'Well! That explains it...'

IVF Clinic bed - 'And here we have the basis of our revolutionary new technique.'

Picture of my mother?

"So, how long have you been trying?"

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

IVF assessment centre.

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Three Parent Baby

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Pregnancy Test

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

Fertility Center.

'Don't take this the wrong way, but these pills you have to take come in a child-proof bottle.'

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

Sperm Bank: Penetrations...Withdrawals.

"What if she's not my type?"

You're expecting twins. What! I wanted a least triplets!

Science and mothers day

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'